Op Ed - Otero County Jail Drug Screening Scanners: A Mothers Quest by Jena Matise

Over the last 671 days of agonizing loss and grief, loss of my son, loss of my step-father, loss of my grandmother, loss of my marriage and at times loss of my senses and of my self, I have grown into a totally different woman. I know that I am not alone in grief.

We’ve all at some point experienced loss. Experienced the pain, the anger, regret and the heartache that comes with that loss. Through my journey of grief, I have also experienced domestic abuse. Not the abuse I have become so accustomed to from early childhood. Rather then physical abuse, this time it was severe emotional and mental abuse, all while under duress while grieving the loss of my beloved son. The son who made me a warrior momma, also in his loss I would become a writer, an activist and again a victim of Domestic Abuse.

Since the moment I was informed of David Shjan’s passing, I knew the details were wrong. I felt this in my heart, to my very core. Now, all I wanted was the truth. I never did fathom the journey I was about to travel. In my last good-bye, my last kiss to his cold forehead and in my last promise to him, the excruciating pain and heartache began. My son is gone….

Over the next year of my journey there would be investigations, attorneys, court hearings and Domestic Abuse. Life was moving so fast, there were times I thought I wouldn’t make it to the next day. However, I did make it. Eventually I resumed my domestic duties as a stay at home mom, and care giver for my grandmother. Now, grief traveled with me, and ultimately it was strangers, strangers in our community who would become friends, they helped guide me through this journey and some had even joined me in the travels. I thank God everyday for their loving strength and support along the way.

The gas lighting, emotional and mental abuse started on the 1 year anniversary of David Shjan’s death. A day of mourning, of grieving, a day of remembrance quickly turned into claims that I am crazy, claims I didn’t know what I was talking about, and the most insulting, the claims I did not even know my own body, all because I had experience what I thought at the time, a miscarriage, all on the worst day of my life.

The next days would prove to be even worse. The emotional abuse took me by surprise, although I was expecting it. I was so lost in grief, I had forgotten that abuse has been present in my marriage every few years for almost 21 years. I had been very vocal with loved ones and family counselors , but it was ignored.

Now the very people who should have protected me, instead enabled my abuser. His mother, my mother, our family priest and trusted people in positions of authority would now actively be a part of severe emotional and mental abuse and no one did anything to stop it

The abuse only continued. It would occur in our home in front of our daughter, at church, in our family priest’s office during church functions, actively in marriage counseling and even at public extra curricular activities. I would call out the gas lighting and emotional abuse only to be ignored until the day my abuser walked out of our marital home denying reality! That very same morning a commentary I wrote, “Tablets for Inmates” dropped in the local media.

In the commentary I wrote of news of a full body scanning machine, to be delivered to Otero County jail in one month and 1 weeks time. A scanning machine that was just an idea that I had shared with our county jail director Nena Sisler and County Commissioner Gerald Matherly. An idea completely born out of heartache and grief. A simple act of forgiveness and closure had actually turned into one of my biggest accomplishments all because of a last promise made to my son. A promise to find out what went so horribly wrong that now my son is dead. Death by suicide in Otero county jail. Again, I am not alone in this particular journey of grief.

Prior to and after my son’s death, numerous deaths have occurred in our county jail. Deaths due to suicide, over dose and of course natural causes. How could this be happening in our small county jail?

Why are these families in our community suffering this kind of loss? Changes were needed immediately. But, what changes could be made?

I have written several commentaries on the on going issues in Otero County jail, issues of drug trafficking, low staffing and suicides and over doses.

In bringing awareness to these issues, the jail administrations and county commissioners have worked hard to resolve these issues. As per Nena Sisler, Jail Director, and Commissioner Gerald Matherly, new corrections officers have been hired and new applications are still coming in.

The scanning machine that was just an idea born out of grief, loss, heartbreak, betrayal and domestic abuse is now fully state certified and operational.

Though one would claim it’s all made up in my head and I would only believe what I want to believe. There would also be the claim I have done nothing to help the jail. Well, I am elated to report, OUR COUNTY JAIL IS NOW SECURE, and drug free.

I finally finished my son’s fight to keep the drugs out, and hopefully now our communities surrounding the county jail will be a little safer.

Several agencies in our community have helped me navigate through this journey and I would like to personally thank the Sergeants, Deputies and employees of Otero County Sheriff’s Office, Alamogordo Police Dept, all 3 of our amazing County Commissioners; Gerald Matherly, Amy Barela and Vickie Marquardt and a very special thank you to Otero County Jail Director Nena Sisler.

- Till Next Time Jena Matise

Note: Jena Matise is a community activist and mother, guest contributor and citizen journalist. 

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