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Dear Liliane
How can you get rid of regret and self-hatred?
Oh that's a tough place to be! When we are in regret and self-loathing, we often feel a sense of separation and isolation. It’s difficult to connect with common sense and self-help techniques. It’s all very nice to say, ‘Well get on with it’ but sometimes we need better building blocks.
I recently had some insight into some things I did over a decade ago. I behaved abysmally towards a couple of people I cared about, and in retrospect I can’t believe it was even me! Now I realize a few things…
Firstly, it was during a very difficult time in my life and my head simply wasn’t on straight. Secondly there’s a matter of Correct Identification. If I am able to observe my behaviour and see it for what it is then I know for sure it is NOT my Identity! It is not the True Nature of my being. (Discovering this is a personal journey we all must take sooner or later.)
Back to those I feel I have harmed, in one case I am trying to track down the person involved to apologize. In the other case, I feel it’s not in their best interest to make contact and so my apologies must be done in prayer. It’s all I can do.
We all struggle with right and wrong from time to time. It is one of the ways we learn. But our mistakes do not have to define us. We make the best choice we can, and keep moving forward. Who among us can say they have led perfect lives?
And this brings me to another point. I am on the spectrum and have felt ‘separate’ from others for my whole life. I just didn’t know why. But in recent years I’ve been able to see that I am very much the same as other people inside. I have been able to normalize my differences. We all have a shadow side that makes it tempting to isolate but the truth is we all want to love and be loved, and be the best version of ourselves that we can.
We are all in this soup together!
Lastly, I will strongly recommend a short yet powerful book by Kamal Ravikant called ‘Loving Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.’ He is able to bring self-love and self-respect into a place we can all get to.
Just know you are in the right and perfect place, at the right and perfect time, and the fact you are asking this question tells me you’re on the right path! You got this!
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Got a question that needs a new pair of eyes?
Email: lily@domesnatureretreat.com
Liliane is co-owner of the Domes Nature Retreat
https://www.facebook.com/domesnatureretreat/
She is a regular contributor to Alamogordo Town News
https://2ndlifemediaalamogordo.town.news/
She can be heard each weekend on Krazy KALHRadio.org 95.1 FM https://station.voscast.com/5b01bba90dce3
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