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Is being hard on yourself, hard on other people?
It IS hard to watch others being hard on themselves. It takes a lot of energy and it can be tiresome for even the most compassionate soul! While anyone can go through a period of self-recrimination, if it becomes a way of being, it’s no fun to be around! And even if it’s well hidden, people can sense the discomfort of those around them, which in turn feeds self-hatred. So it becomes a vicious cycle.
Also, a person who cannot love and accept themselves is often judgemental of others. In fact it’s hard to imagine someone could carry such judgement for themselves and NOT for anyone else. Again… uncomfortable to be around.
More importantly, when someone is continuously hard on themselves, it sets other internal mechanisms in motion; lack of self-care, poor sleep, low energy, addiction, a generally morose outlook, suicidal thoughts… it’s a perfect set-up for a downward spiral. Of course some folks have mental challenges and they may need extra help from friends and family, and sometimes medication, but as long as we each take care of our own minds, we are better able to help those who need us.
Self-deprecation is also sometimes a kind of false humility, staying small to prove God's Greatness, but I think that's misguided. If we are to believe that God is all there is, then God is expressing as all of Life. So if we are taking a dim view of ourselves, then we are, by default, judging the Wisdom of the Divine. We each need to look at what we really believe about the fact that we are here at all, and then honour that belief with our actions.
It’s up to each of us to do our best to keep our thoughts and minds elevated. Only in this way can we fight those periodic demons that come to us all, and conduct our lives in a way that is helpful and meaningful.
If even half the world’s population woke up every morning and said, “I am ok just as I am, and I love myself,” imagine what would change!! This doesn't mean we stop growing! It means we believe in ourselves enough to keep growing! So let’s make a commitment right now to practice loving ourselves. We’ll be happier and more productive, and we won’t be adding toxic energy to an already overloaded planet. Declare victory and move on! Yay me!!
Got a question that needs a new pair of eyes? Send your query to: lily@domesnatureretreat.com
Lillian Piliot is a regular contributor to AlamogordoTownsNews.com and can be heard each Saturday on Krazy KALHRadio.org 95.1 FM streaming at https://station.voscast.com/5b01bba90dce3.
She is the co-owner of the Domes Nature Retreat https://domesnatureretreat.com/#xl_xr_page_yo
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