PERSPECTIVES - a regular weekend column

Dear Lily

How has your view of failure changed since embracing a growth mindset?

I used to cringe at failure because I thought it meant I was a failure. This of course was a product of good old-fashioned ‘not good enough’ upbringing, combined with typical ASD challenges in perception and executive function. But that’s not what’s important here. Those things may describe me but they do not define me.

Failure is a learning tool children use. They repeat actions until either it works, or they discover another element is needed. If they are supported in their attempts, they continue to experiment. If they are shut down, they develop performance anxiety and stop believing in themselves. This happens all too often for all kinds of reasons and embeds a fear of trying new things. But again, it doesn’t have to define us!

Using the term ‘growth mindset’ is I think a bit of a misnomer. We are fully wired for growth and evolution. It is who we are individually, and as a species. Perhaps though, as our species has devolved through the filters of our collective trauma and drama, we have lost sight of this. We have forgotten we are incredible beings, capable of so much… and yet we still must learn through trial and error.

‘Judge not lest ye be judged’. Sage words. Let us all be more accepting of ourselves and others. Let us applaud achievement where ever we find it! And let us be fearless in our journey to strive and thrive.

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