Alamogordo Town News Mental Health Alert - The Loneliness Plague - Resource Help Numbers

With the pandemic, lockdowns, sickness and isolation due to risk of exposure especially among those at risk and the elderly the feeling of loneliness is reaching epidemic levels but you’re not alone.

Roughly three in five Americans feel lonely, according to a recent report by the health insurer Cigna.

People between the ages of 18 to 24  and 55 to 90 are the most likely to suffer from loneliness. In a national study, 61% of respondents in that age group indicated high levels of social isolation. Psychologists say it’s because young people pull away from their inherited families as they transition into adulthood. The critical guard rails that prevented loneliness disappear as they begin to form new family units. The stresses of making critical professional, relationship, and personal decisions can further amplify a young person’s sense of isolation and anxiety.

Elderly people are also particularly vulnerable. Potential illness, mental and physical changes, and retirement may leave older people feeling less integrated into society and lacking a sense of purpose or belonging.

Though we tend to associate the concept of feeling alone to the idea of not having a confidant or friend, people might also experience existential or societal loneliness if they feel like they are misunderstood or not welcomed into certain social spaces. We have all known people who seemingly have lots of connections yet feel that their lives lack meaning or that they are fundamentally different from others. We all know the expression, “lonely in a crowd.”

Why Should We Care About Loneliness?

In addition to poor mental health outcomes, loneliness can have adverse effects on our physiological health. The heightened risks for mortality from loneliness are equivalent to the increased risk from smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic.

Historically, conversations around loneliness have been stigmatizing. People who feel lonely may be reluctant to express their feelings. Instead, they attribute their loneliness to self-deficiencies or others’ lack of desire to maintain relationships. These thought patterns are self-defeating since shame and bitterness often cause the lonely person to withdraw even further from their relationships, exacerbating the isolation.

The Pandemic’s Impact

Since the beginning of the pandemic in March 2020, social-distancing and stay-at-home orders have become part of our everyday vocabulary. Undoubtedly, COVID-19 pushed people who were already feeling isolated over the brink. Google trends show a spike in the number of searches related to loneliness at the height of lockdowns in March and April of 2020.

In addition to being unable to gather with friends and family, many people lost their “weak ties,” or minor social connections, to colleagues and others, such as the barista at the coffee shop, the mail carrier, or the cashier at the grocery store. All these people play an essential role in maintaining our mental health.

Some relationships became strained as quarantine placed added pressures and became a source of conflict, especially when couples disagreed about what activities and level of social engagement was appropriate.

On the other hand, the shared struggle of COVID-19 unified us. The virus was a great disruptor, upending our plans and changing the environment around us entirely. Many people, including older adults, learned how to use technology to keep in touch with friends and family across the country, or expand their social circles.

Sharing Loneliness

COVID-19 in many ways lifted the veil on loneliness and mental health. As novelist Olivia Laing wrote in The New York Times last year, “We are all lonely.” The pandemic gave everyone a reason to feel whatever it was we were feeling and to talk about it. Normalizing loneliness, in turn, removed much of the shame and bitterness that might have previously accompanied it.

Our community health depends on tackling the issue of loneliness head on. While a lonely society is more anxious, depressed, and unhealthy, an interconnected society means happier, more engaged, and fulfilling lives for everyone

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