6-17-2023 4:14pm

PERSPECTIVES - a regular weekend feature

Dear Liliane, How do you accept what you can't change?

I’ve learned to ask myself this question:

‘What if EVERYTHING IS OK?’

Seriously, what if everything is alright just as it is, no matter what I think about it, no matter what the rest of the world says, no matter how I’m feeling? Because those are all transient things - thoughts, opinions, feelings… And none of them address the greater picture which we cannot see.

I know two people who for various reasons have had to leave their homes and are downsizing into a very different way of living. Both of them have been forced into this by circumstances beyond their control, and both have decided to be happy about it. They are choosing to see it as an opportunity to live more simply.

What… if… everything… is… ok?

This world is full of things we cannot change - things outside our sphere of influence. Yet most of us get frustrated with situations (and people) in our lives, and madly plot ways to change them. And here I use my words very specifically because in this state, we are mad! Plumb crazy in fact!

If we are involved in a situation we can’t change then we have to examine what is really ours to do. Change always begins within - changing how we see ourselves and the world around us. What if everything is ok? ‘Yeah but my boyfriend does such and such and anyone would think it’s annoying….’ Breathe. What if everything is ok? ‘No you don’t understand!! This bad thing is happening and it’s intolerable!!’ Again, breathe. Breathe out distress. Breathe in peace. Breathe out annoyance. Breathe in calm. Now, ask yourself again, ‘What if everything is ok?’ Because this is a choice you get to make. You get to decide to make peace with your environment.

We have been conditioned to see things as right or wrong; good or bad. There’s a Buddhist tenet which states that nothing can possess any qualities at all and that ideas of right or wrong can only be conferred upon something by an observer. Think that through. Without a witness, a thing is just a thing.The witness brings their biases, beliefs and perceptions, and through that filter they make a judgment.

But at the end of the day, the best advice I can give is dial up loving yourself because the better you feel about YOU, the better you will feel about every aspect of your life. Love really IS the answer.

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Got a question that needs a new pair of eyes?
Email: lily@domesnatureretreat.com

Liliane is co-owner of the Domes Nature Retreat

https://www.facebook.com/domesnatureretreat/

www.domesnatureretreat.com

She is a regular contributor to Alamogordo Town News

https://2ndlifemediaalamogordo.town.news/

She can be heard each weekend on Krazy KALHRadio.org 95.1 FM https://station.voscast.com/5b01bba90dce3