4-15-2023 3:31am

PERSPECTIVES - a regular weekend column

Can people really change (after apologizing and promising to change), if so, how can you tell if its a long-term change or short-term?

It sounds like someone has made you a promise you’re not sure they can keep!

‘CAN’ people change? Yes! But WILL they is another question altogether. Significant change is a function of several things:

Are they self-aware?

Are they motivated by something more lasting than someone else’s approval?

Do they have some sort of Standpoint of Principle that allows them perceive what is Real, rather than seeing only the ever-changing panoply of an emotionally driven life?

Are they able to put ego and personality aside for the betterment of their lives?

I think this infrastructure plays a huge role in both the decision and ability to make personal adjustments. It may seem daunting but we can all do simple things to help ourselves along. For example, we can ask ourselves, “Is this behaviour making me and others happy?” If the answer is no, then we have to either address it or find a way to sleep peacefully, because once we see our actions for what they are, they will show up again and again until we’ve done our work.

This brings me to whether it’s short term or long term. Some folks make weak promises without building the infrastructure first and they will not likely succeed in any significant long-term change. And others are ready for change. They want to move forward, and they are willing to do the work. Other conditions of their lives may kick in - family, living conditions, support system etc. All these (and more!) are at play and will contribute to how quickly and permanently they create change in their lives. But if they are committed, they will make it happen.

Last but not least, change is often hard to see at ground level. You may think nothing is happening when in fact shift IS occurring, slowly, growing roots and gathering the strength it needs to be permanent. A huge tree doesn't grow overnight and neither does lasting change.

At the end of the day we’re all just people doing the best we can so better we should be compassionate and kind with ourselves and others. Let us provide a supportive climate for change to occur, rather than judging whether it’s happening according to some agenda. And let’s give folks a chance if we see them trying. I think everyone inherently wants to be the best version of themselves but it’s hard sometimes and the world doesn’t always ‘play nice’. We can help each other out by each focusing on our own stuff. As Ghandi said, “Be the change to you wish to see in the world”.

Blessings,

Liliane Pilot

Got a question that needs a new pair of eyes?

Email me at: lily@domesnatureretreat.com

Lillian Piliot is a regular contributor to AlamogordoTownsNews.com and can be heard each Saturday on Krazy KALHRadio.org 95.1 FM streaming at https://station.voscast.com/5b01bba90dce3. She is the co-owner of the Domes Nature Retreat https://domesnatureretreat.com/#xl_xr_page_your%20destination